are you looking for an answer - {for Jo}

[girl_at_the_window]

Susan wakes up into dull, numb agony, every movement aching. It turns out coming back from the dead is never what you'd call relaxing. Everything feels broken, oddly displaced.

It takes her several minutes to gather the strength to sit up, reach for her computer, and, after a little thought, start to type.

>burningpassion: well
>burningpassion: im back

Comments

[thefuckingbeam]

[Eddie hugs his coffee between his webbed fingers and laughs, a hollow sound.][Nothing's fair, ever. It's not fair of him to leave her, it's not fair of her to ask him to stay. It's not fair of him that despite all his guilt and the overwhelmingly depressing reality of this situation, Eddie still wants to pull Susan back into his arms and touch her hair and kiss her so soundly she forgets they're not supposed to be doing it at all.

He frees one hand and pounds his fist into the upholstery of Susan's couch.]

God damn it. Do you know how bad I want to just say 'fuck it' right now?

[girl_at_the_window]

'Bout as bad as I do?

[Her smile's thin and wavery, because while she said it in a joking tone, that really wasn't a joke. She still aches and feels stiff, but hells, on half a minute's notice she'd still tackle him if she let herself.]

[She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes.]

...Mayhap you're right. Mayhap you should go. Before one of us gives in.

[thefuckingbeam]

Probably.

[This is very steadily ticking over into danger territory, and they can both feel it now, and when Susan closes her eyes like that Eddie just lets himself drink her in, take in the details of her face before the words he'd been expecting finally come.]

Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right.

[He gives her a sympathetic glance, rising to his feet.]

Just...you're gonna be okay, right? Until Chie comes?

[girl_at_the_window]

I'll have to be.

[She forces a smile, getting to her feet as well. She ought to at least say goodbye properly, even if she probably shouldn't give him the hug she's about to.]

Thankee. For comin' by.

[thefuckingbeam]

[Hugging him is definitely a terrible idea, and they both know it, but he accepts it anywhere, giving her a brief squeeze with his hand on her hair.

Enough. Enough, now.]

Anytime, sweetheart.

[He pauses, cringes. Pulls back.] --Susan.

[girl_at_the_window]

[She doesn't know how to say that it's her name that makes her heart flip-flop in her chest, more than the endearment does. She can feel her resolve straining, straining to breaking point...]

[She all but pushes him towards the door.]

We... we'll talk about it in a few days, aye? [When we've had time to get our heads in order.]

[thefuckingbeam]

[He stumbles over his webbed toes a little, and nods, pushing his hair out of his face.]

Yeah. In a few days.

[He's just going to. Probably jerk off and cry. It's fine.]