He knows that this isn't the right choice. He's married, for Christ's sake. But he's been told—by multiple people, even—that if there's a chance of being happy here, he should take it, wife or no. That a place like this changes more than just your body and your mind. Changes your relationships. And, shit, it's been a year. If his wife was going to show up, he'd think it'd happen by now.
And part of him feels almost like this is a mistake he's meant to make, anyway. Susan, Susannah. Maybe ka is trying to tell him something. Or maybe he's just trying to justify these feelings he's been having. Either way, he doesn't move away when Susan leans in, the way he really ought to. Just presses his eyes closed when he feels her lips there on the corner of his mouth, and without even asking it to, lets his hand come up to cup her jaw before she can move away too far.
He wants so badly to just kiss her, to go ahead and stumble headlong, but he restrains himself, searching her eyes for any sign of repulsion. Any sign that she might not want this.
"Tell me I'm...too old for you," he croaks. "Or something." He doesn't sound at all like that's what he actually wants.
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Date: 2017-06-01 12:56 am (UTC)And part of him feels almost like this is a mistake he's meant to make, anyway. Susan, Susannah. Maybe ka is trying to tell him something. Or maybe he's just trying to justify these feelings he's been having. Either way, he doesn't move away when Susan leans in, the way he really ought to. Just presses his eyes closed when he feels her lips there on the corner of his mouth, and without even asking it to, lets his hand come up to cup her jaw before she can move away too far.
He wants so badly to just kiss her, to go ahead and stumble headlong, but he restrains himself, searching her eyes for any sign of repulsion. Any sign that she might not want this.
"Tell me I'm...too old for you," he croaks. "Or something." He doesn't sound at all like that's what he actually wants.